Sunday, May 27, 2012

Raw (Poem)


Raw

I got in a fight with a girl
And she kicked my ass.

She took a bat to my ribs
And then she kicked me in the balls.
When I got up from the dirt,
She dumped me face-first into the rocks,
Drove her knee into the back of my neck,
Raked my skin with her nails
And punched me in the face,
Nearly closing both eyes.
From a headlock,
I cried, “Uncle!”
She said it wasn’t enough.
I said “Aunt, then!”
And she laughed.
But it was a cold, distant one.

Eventually she tired
And she went away.

The sun was low
So I got up
And limped home.

For two months I stayed indoors.
I slept on the couch as my bones
Knitted back together.
I ate chicken soup
Until my jaw worked again.
And then I ate fresh vegetables
And sat in the blessed sunshine
On my porch
For days.

Eventually I returned to the playground
Alone.
I saw you there,
And shyly smiled.

You smiled back.

You asked about my eyes,
Still slightly bruised.
But you didn’t laugh,
And you showed me your knee...

We played all day in that playground
And the sun sank low on the horizon.

Shyly, like a female wolf
Approaching an irresistible treat
You approached me
While I waited.

“What about the bandage on your elbow,” you asked.
“Doesn’t it need to come off?”

I nodded solemnly
Because I knew it did
And that it would hurt to remove it.

But it was You
And the day had been
So nice
So I let you try.

“This is how you do it,” you said.
“Fast.”

I closed my eyes while you pulled hard
And I sucked in air against the sting.

The bandage fell to the ground
And you ran away into the approaching night.

I stood and watched your sweet figure disappear
Alone
Fresh blood dripping
From a new, old wound
Onto the warm, dusty earth.

--Eric Marley
January 2012

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Geoff's Station


I wrote this just before, months barely, I read an article in a magazine (National Geo Adventure) that changed my life. I was about to awaken. I didn't know it cognitively, but my soul did, and it was stoked!

Geoff’s Station

The sun beat translucent light into the room where Geoff still slept, snoring. How long he had been there was anyone’s guess, but since he had arrived he had done nothing but sleep; sound, solemn, deep sleep.  

Time passed, and he finally stirred.

“Ah,” he said as he stretched his back. He blinked his eyes and a weary smile crept across his face.  The smile faded almost as quickly as it had started and his eyes closed and his breathing deepened once again.

Later, Geoff’s eyes sprung open, as if he had been jabbed in the backside. He did not move, but lay there in his bed.

“Oh, I wish I could go back to sleep,” he thought to himself in his groggy mind.

Just the memory of the rest he had just experienced brought a dimming smile to his face. But Geoff could not now go back to sleep; he was certainly awake. He shifted back and forth in his bed, but it was as if it had grown too small for him. His covers were apparently tucked in too tightly in the edges, and he swore softly as he struggled to be free of their suffocating embrace. 

“Come on…what the…” as he struggled to get one of his arms free, which he couldn’t do. 

Geoff stopped struggling for a moment, panting. The covers held him tightly as before. Feelings of claustrophobia swept over him, but he batted them away.

Geoff looked up to the ceiling, which seemed now much closer than it should be. It showed a steady dim glow from no source in particular. It was as if the whole room was made of thick paper. Oddly, no point of the room was brighter or darker than the other. Also, he noticed, the covers on his bed were the same color as the walls. The room was monochromatic. 

“Some decorator,” Geoff thought to himself. “At least the bed is comfortable. Or was,” he thought wistfully. 

Geoff tried a half-dozen more times to free an arm, either arm, from the bed’s grip with the same result. He lay back in bed, resigned for the moment, panting. His mind raced. He felt bound and he began to panic. This time he was unable to brush is feelings away.

“This must be what it’s like to be in a straitjacket! I have to get out of here. This is too much. I can’t handle this any more!”

He had an idea.  He would bang his head on the ceiling, which was now right in front of his face. He couldn’t move his arms, but his head and neck were free enough. He could move his neck, flex it backwards as far as the bed would allow, and then fling it upwards to bounce his forehead off the ceiling, which seemed to be getting lower all the time.  This he did. The result, at first, was familiar. However, as he was in the act of flinging his head upwards with his might, to his surprise, his right arm broke partially loose of the covers.

His struggles against the ceiling ceased for the moment as he concentrated on freeing his right arm, which he did.

A look of relief spread over his face. He now felt he could get more leverage. Alas, he was wrong.  The room was so tight against him now that he could not get his arm up in front of his face in such a way as to be able to push with very much force.

“Ah!” he yelled, and banged his head with all his might against the ceiling.

To his terror, a crack appeared. It wasn’t the fact that there was a crack in the ceiling that caused the terror. It was the light that came in which was hard and blinding.  Although he had been breathing hard from anxiety and exertion of the situation, he now held his breath as he closed his eyes tight. But the light seemed bright even through his eyelids. After a while, when the surprise and pain of the light subsided, he was able to think clearly and look at the crack through squinted eyes. He could see nothing beyond the fissure; the light that came in prevented it.

Geoff lay in his bed, breathing almost normally once again. The light beat down into his eyes and onto his forehead, maddeningly. A small bead of sweat started at his hairline and coursed into one of his squinted eyes, stinging. Geoff fought off another wave of panic, but his conclusion was the same.

“I have to get out of here,” he thought, “Why would this happen to me? What did I do?” He had these thoughts even though he was afraid of the light, as bright as it was.  He had never experienced anything so bright. In the end, however, his fear of staying in the tight bed and room overcame his fear of any light. He resolved to get out of there, no matter what.

With that, he made another frantic push with his head against the ceiling. To his surprise, his whole face stuck up through the ceiling, framed.

“What in the world?”

The fact that his head was held up in the ceiling gave his right arm just enough room from below his body and he gave a tremendous shove against it. This tore away a large chunk of it. His head, right arm and shoulder were now out of the confining space. His arm held him up as he surveyed his surroundings, his eyes adjusting for the first time. He could feel his left arm free the last of it’s restraint from below, helping to support him.

Geoff couldn’t believe what he saw. As monochromatic as his room had been, this world was not. Colors he could not even comprehend now massaged his senses.  He stared, gape-mouthed, at his surroundings. 

“I can’t believe I ever wanted to go back to sleep!” he exclaimed joyously.  “I’ll never sleep again!”

Green grass, white-tipped mountains, blue sky, brown soil, dark woods and an azure ocean were all within Geoff’s line of sight. He took a deep breath of the warm air and smelled ripe fruit mixed with an oceanic breeze, welling up to the top of the hill where he was. He was home.

His gestation now complete, Geoff smiled broadly and with a final, mighty shove pushed away the outer shell of the egg, freeing himself completely.


--Eric T. Marley
February 2006

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Dirigible - Poemrosestoryofshortnessbutkinddalong


Dirigible

Sometimes
Sometimes I
Sometimes I feel
Sometimes I feel like one of those
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
Balloon People.
Not the people.
The Balloons. 
You know what I’m talking about?
They’re those balloons that are Beings
Being towed along by people on the ground.
The people on the ground are not really paying attention.
They were at first, like
When we first got put up there,
We Balloon-People.
It was all,
“Did you get the right amount of gas in her, Hank?”
And
“Wow, that one’s huge!”
And
“The kids LOVE this one!”

They say this
While they’re looking
While they’re looking up.
While they’re looking up at me.

Then their eyes go level
And what’s left of me
To them
Is a rope
And a responsibility.

“The Mayor is gonna want to check this one out
Personally, Mark. His daughter designed it.”
And
“Hey get that idiot out of here, he’s drunk!”
And
“Can we get this started, already?”

“The thrill is goooonnnne”
Is what BB King would groan.

I’m still up here
But my handlers never look up.
Not really.

I just float,
Away from the
Chattering
Smiling
People. 

I have a smile painted on my face.
The smiling face of a cartoon character.

I float along
Looking at the crowd
Looking at you.
Our eyes meet.
You are laughing
There
There in the crowd
There in the crowd at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

But I am not smiling.
Not really.
The face on my face
Is not mine.

People think hot air is hot
But it’s really not.
It’s only hot enough
To keep me away
To keep me at bay
Apart and separate
From the earth-

But air is really cold
As far as guts go.

And where all the people are
Is where I want to be.

And they feel secure
That I am up here
Floating and smiling
When all I want to be
Is Down There.

I want to be filled with something warm
Like real guts
Like love
Like care
Like hope
Like smiling
Like you.

I want to be in the crowd
But
I am here
I am up here
I am up here apart
From where I once was
Not a part of you any more
And I am held by ropes
Ropes that are not smooth
And I strain against them.

The ropes keep me up
And I hate them.
And the people love
What the ropes do-
But they love me, too
They say.

The people on the ground
Are satisfied
To see me at a distance -
Up, with my happy smile painted
On my bereaved face
As I float,
Within sight
In control,
But away.

Sometimes I think that maybe
The people
The people on the ground
The people on the ground that are smiling
Are like me

Dirigibles
With smiles painted on
Being held by ropes
Away from the people
And places
And things they love
In and on the earth.
Are they cold inside?
And if they are
Do they know it?

--Eric Marley
February 2012

Friday, May 4, 2012

Warrior Again - For Mitch (Prose)


Warrior Again
(For Mitch)

And the warrior took the worn deer antler in his hand
With great skill chipped away at the obsidian on the stump;
And the warrior opened his book
Read, thought, pondered

And the warrior fastened with sinew
The arrowhead to the arrow, inadvertently cutting himself;
And the warrior looked in the mirror
Passionately stating his mantra again…through tearing eyes

And the warrior climbed into the tree
Arrow nocked, awaiting his prey;
And the warrior knocked on the door
Breathed in, breathed out

And the warrior drew back
Breathed in, breathed out…and let go;
And the warrior reiterated the point
Waited (not speaking) for an answer

And the warrior looked up
Thanked Creator, climbed down;
And the warrior looked up
Thanked Creator, climbed in

And the warrior did his work with the carcass
Carefully preserving the meat, heart, liver;
And the warrior closed the loops
Made certain, preserved the promise

And the warrior returned home.
To a grateful family, a provider
And the warrior returned home
To a grateful family, a provider.

--Eric Marley
May 2012  

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Pine (Poem)


Pine

“You’re growing on me,” I whisper inside
Too late to save her
I can feel her roots sinking into me
Deeper and deeper
Seeking sustenance.

I once saw a pine tree
That grew out of a rock.
I named the tree
After her.

“You’ll get hurt”, I want to tell her
But I can’t
Her kitten-curled-in-front-of-a-window body
Is still wrapped inside me somewhere
And I can’t find her face long enough
To say anything meaningful. 

--Eric Marley
May 2012

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Yin Yang (Poem)


Yin Yang
 
I want to climb inside you
Against the cold inside me
And put you inside me
And wrap me in you
And hold you close
While you hold me tight
Against the cold outside
Against the cold inside me…


Eric Marley
October 2010