Delivery Part
1, He
Swirling
images come into sight
Grimace,
scream laugh
With
evil delight
And
fade one into the other
Replaced
by another
And
another and anotherEach swirling back
Into
the next.
And
the black
Cannot
be called darkness
Because
in this place
There
is never light
Never has been lightHow did I get here?
I will never get out
They will never let me out
There
is no way out
There
is no Out
And
now they are in me
I can feel them worming
into meAnd I let them
As
I give in
Almost
done
I am almost
gone
Absorbed into Them
It is then that I see it
Absorbed into Them
It is then that I see it
A
flash of something
A
flash…
A
flash?
Here?
It
appears for a second
But
a second is enough
Enough
to make me recoil and fight
Against
them
One
last time
Hope
was what it took
For
my muscles to retract
Just
enough
To
slow their progress
Into
me
Now
there is Real Light
Coming
faster now
In
broad strokes getting brighter
Like
a windshield covered in mud
Being
cleaned from the outside
And
then...I see it
The first kind face I can remember seeing
In my whole soiled existence
And
suddenly
In
a burst of birth
In
a burst of new
In
an explosion of breath
And
white holy death
I
feel my frantic, fear-filled eyes wide open
My
birth family stands in corner of a
Stark
sterile white room
They
are concerned
They
are afraid
Tears
of relief melt down their faces
As
my wild eyes fly past theirs
But
above it all I feel
Wonder
of wonders
Warm
hands on either side of my cold face
Drawing
my attention
And
my swimming eyes
Slow
And
my fearful heart
Stills
And
your face appears in mine
Close,
almost touching noses
And
it sounds like a small mountain stream
In
my ears
When
I hear your voice say,
“It’s
ok
I’m
here
It’s
ok, honey
I’ve
got you…”
And
my soul stops its panicked race
And
my frightened dark brown eyes
Lock
into your strong dusty blue eyes
And
I rest
For
the first time.
And in your eyes
I
am home. And in your eyes
And
in your eyes
I
am reborn.
Confusion
and blackness
Foggy
Pain
Wet
pressure joints dripping fire
My
whole body wants to contort inside itself
But
in whitewashed grey streaks
I
see our whole past
I
see it like like a thick blanket on a cold day
Heavy
and welcome
Letting
me burrow in
But
memories can't erase all the pain;
The
pain that leaves one place
Only
to find another and other
Another
and another
I
feel myself begin to give into it
There
is no way out
There
is no Out
It
worms into all my parts
Filling
me
Taking over my emotions
My smile
My Self
Unti l I feel
I am only a vehicle for parasitic pain
A
scream starts so far inside my body that it almost Taking over my emotions
My smile
My Self
Unti l I feel
I am only a vehicle for parasitic pain
Impresses
me with how deep my body can be
But
it stops suddenly
Retreats
inside me again, cowering
Why?
Suddenly...
I
feel your hands on either side of my face
Drawing
my attention
You
are here
You
never left meAnd I remember...
I was your Reason
I was your Love
I
was your Wife
We
are the Love
In
the other's Life
Your
strong brown eyes
(Once
frightened)
Look
past my frightened dusty blue ones
(Once
stronger)
And
it sounds like a great river
Washing
over deep, ancient stones
When
I hear your voice say,
“It’s
ok
I’m
here
It’s
ok, honey
I’ve
got you…”
You
look at me
Like
you looked into me
On
our wedding day
Thirty-nine
years ago
How
can you really feel that way
With
all these tubesWith these pinging sentinels
With all this pain covering me
But you are here
And
the pain knows it
So for this moment it shrinks back
So for this moment it shrinks back
For
now it slinks back in awe
In
awe of the majesty of our Love
In
awe of the majesty of Us
So,
for this moment
I
can rest.
And
in your eyes
I
am home.
And
in your eyes
I
am reborn.
--Eric Marley
