Wednesday, July 23, 2014

33 AD, The Wednesday Before Passover - Final (Short Story)

  

33 AD, JERUSALEM: THE WEDNESDAY BEFORE PASSOVER
I am on a dusty street in a Middle Eastern city. I have been searching, looking for a Teacher of no small reputation in this city.
A stranger has walked up to me. He looks tired. his face is dirty and streaked. Without me telling him anything about my purpose, he tells me he is looking for this Teacher as well.
The man has kind eyes. Although there is some fear there, and a sense of urgency bordering on obsession, they are eyes that I feel an allegiance with, somehow. I can trust this stranger. So, I tell him that I am also looking for him: the Rebel from Nazareth.
He smiles, relieved. We start walking aimlessly through town, my new friend and I, listening in on conversations, peering into places where no holy man would be, for that is where he is most often found.
Looking back, the few times I’ve seen him I was… well, I guess I don’t want to say where I saw him. It was in towns in the region, and once near the sea, and once in town at a healing pool. That’s all I want to say about places I’ve seen him right now. My friend has never seen him personally. He's only heard of him, and a few of his words second-hand. He seems more desperate than I, but we both feel time is running out to find him.
My family is worried about me because of this. People that get mixed up with him… sometimes “things happen.” I tell my new friend this stuff, and it turns out that he has the same problems.
He’s drawn to him. And he doesn’t know why, and it doesn’t matter. It’s the same for both of us.
My friend says he heard that Jesus had a white robe. I frown and correct him immediately. Jesus doesn’t wear a white robe. It may have started out that way, but it probably didn’t stay that way for long, and it is certainly not white now.
The one time I mentioned seeing him on the seaside (Mark 2:13) I was taken by the contrast between his message that infused my soul with unbearable light, and his deteriorating attire. I remember feeding more on the beauty of his presence than the message itself, which I couldn’t really understand.
So, my mind wandered. As a result, my eyes went to his robe. It was that item, that worn cloth, which told me many stories about this mysterious teacher.
My friend and I now come to a small store where we can sit. We are despondent because we cannot seem to find him. Together we have been all over Jerusalem and have very few leads. People are talking, no doubt, but we don’t dare ask them his whereabouts because we can tell by their conversations they are not friendly to him.
We are sitting heavily in wooden chairs now. My friend says he is troubled because for three days he has been searching for a white robe, and now I am telling him it is not white.
I smile at him.
“Close your eyes, my friend. Go ahead, close them, and Jesus will appear in your mind. You will see his robe. This is the simple gift I can give you today to aid in your search. Now… close them.”
His eyes close. I see his face relax into repose. His breathing steadies, and deepens. At once I hear and feel a sharp intake of his breath. “I see him! I see him!” he whispers excitedly.
Sitting next to my friend at the rough, dusty table I lean over to him and whisper into his ear, “Look, there on his sleeve. Do you see that dirty streak? It is from wiping what must have been not one, but many, many runny noses. Don’t frown, look; there on his left sleeve, can you see it?”
My friend nods solemnly, eyes closed.
I continue. “The last time I was in his presence, I saw him wipe the noses of several children that came just to look into his eyes (Matthew 19:14). Three cried in relieved joy from the experience alone. They said things like, ‘I remember you from before’, although they had just met him. One said nothing but just had a bad cold and needed doctoring.”
My friend smiles, his eyes remaining closed.
I continue, “But there’s more. You remember that crippled man that always, always, always sat by the Pool of Bethesda, that was always making noise about not being able to get into the water fast enough to get healed by the pool’s angel that supposedly sat nearby? (John 5:2-15).”
My friend nods, his eyes still shut. I continue.
“That man laid by that pool for what, about forty years? I mean, most of our lives we’ve heard about or seen this guy. You remember how he was kind of disgusting, and how he just lay there in his torn clothes that were so dirty where he dragged himself along that it made you wonder if they had ever been clean? You remember him? And his missing teeth, and his rotten breath… oh, he was a sight! But the day Jesus saw him, that was the difference. That day was the day that Jesus bent down and made it so this man would not sit by this blessed and cursed pool another day. He healed him on the spot - and then gave the glory to God. I saw it myself.”
My friends’ eyes sprung open in surprise. “You saw this?” A single tear made a path down his dusty cheek. I looked into his eyes and nodded. The man shook his head lightly and reclosed his eyes. I continued again.
“Yes, he healed the man and gave glory to God. The rejoicing in this poor man’s eyes was beyond words, and the tears he shed were a mute testament to the broken heart of gratitude inside him. He left a huge streak on Jesus’ right shoulder that remains from when he hugged him.
'When they pulled apart, Jesus looked into his eyes like only he can seem to do, with that look, that look that says, ‘You? You are welcome here.’
'Then he wiped that man’s tears, in a way so tender it was almost feminine, but yet the very definition of masculinity.”
My friend has a peaceful smile on his face, and he nods, seeing behind closed eyes the same thing I am describing.
“Look carefully, for there are many more stains. Under the dust of his robe there, there on the back and at the garment hem, can you see them? They’re brownish, with reddish tints to them? I’m told that is from the hand of the woman that had an issue of blood for so long (Luke 8:43-48)! She just kept bleeding, this poor woman. People would look at her and shake their heads in either disgust or pity but no one, not the Rabbis, nor the Scribes, nor her family, or friends (before they all left her), could do anything for her. Not until the day she reached for Jesus’ robe.
‘When she did that, she felt something seize deep inside her – it hurt her – and she cried out involuntarily. The crowd stopped and Peter, asking what Jesus meant when he asked “Who touched me?” looked down at her sternly, his hands on his hips, wondering what new strange thing this was.
‘But when Jesus bent down to look into her downcast eyes, neither heaven nor hell could keep this woman from grabbing Jesus into a hug of inconceivable gratitude, leaving that other dark smudge on his back from her hand; a hand that would seek to stop her own blood, no longer. On his wide shoulder and into his coarse, dusty hair she sobbed, letting go of a decade of hurt, mistrust, and cruelty.”
My friend breathes a sigh, seemingly letting go of her hurt, too.
“And what about the general condition of his robe?” he nods silently with eyes closed, frowning.
"I wouldn’t call it threadbare, but I wouldn’t call it new, either. This is a man that is not dressed to impress the masses, is he? It’s said that he uses his robe as a towel almost daily, and that he bunches it up to use as a pillow if he has a blanket to sleep under. Otherwise, it has doubled many a night as a sleeping bag. They say he’s homeless, and has been for almost three years now.” (Luke 9:58)
I see another tear start down the cheek of my new friend, washing a new track on his worn face. He opens his eyes and he looks into mine as a small cascade of joy and love and pain give in to gravity and rain onto the dusty table, making small spots under his chin.
We sit for a while in silence at the dusty table as the sun starts down. It is the Wednesday before Passover. Neither of us really know what to make of him. Only that the politicians, the Scribes, and Pharisees, and most of the Rabbis, are really upset about him. They don’t like that he has so many poor people following him, taking what they’ve worked so hard for, for so long. And they have worked! It’s not easy to become a Scribe, or a scholar, or a Rabbi. They feel it is their right to serve the people and to gain their love and respect. Not this poor carpenter’s son, this homeless vagabond. And yet he talks like a God (Matt 7:29)!
Knowing a few of those in the ruling class, I bet that’s a big part of the problem they have with him – his assumption of authority, and the power he has over the people. What if he’s dangerous? What if he were to turn the people against them? Or worse, the Romans? What then would happen to God's people?
What’s troubling both me and my friend is that we’ve heard the Scribes and Priests are coming after him tomorrow. Just before Passover, of all things (Luke 22 1-7). I don’t understand those guys sometimes. They should just leave him alone, or find a way to work with him.
In the last few days, I’ve overheard some conversations. The loud conversations are bad enough. But when a few of them get really quiet and talk in low tones among themselves, that’s when I get worried. I get worried for Jesus’s safety when I see them do that.
They seem dark. Their eyes, red with hatred.
I wish I could find him to warn him.
March, 2014


Wednesday, June 25, 2014

HeartSouls - Essaything



We are not meant to walk here on this earth, in this plane and place, behind our intellect. We are not of this world. We came here as embodied spirits to walk behind our hearts. The heart is the traditional seat of the soul, not the mind. The heart, or HeartSoul as I like to call it, helps us navigate this place as we are meant to do. The mind is meant to function as a rudder. The Captain, our Heartsoul, is the one meant to steer our bodies through these seas. Another metaphor: the mind can twist the door handle and open it just a crack, but it is the HeartSoul that must choose the door and decide if or when to walk through it. Sometimes a door that is pushed slightly ajar by the mind, even under the direction of the HeartSoul, is never meant to be walked through. It is enough in some instances for the door to be opened enough for a peek. In contrast, when the mind/intellect/ego chooses which door to open and walk through, we find ourselves without inner stability. We are not talking about worldly/cultural stability. After all, we can see how our spiritual heroes (like Jesus, Ghandi, Mother Teresa, St. Francis, the Buddha among many, many others), lived lives that looked disastrous contrasted to the comfort that could have been theirs had they simply made choices more in line with the accepted norms of their respective times. No, the HeartSoul will steer us into waters that are often deep and brooding, stormy and seemingly dangerous. But when it steers, peace pervades, a deep sense of wonder and well-being that, when we are aware enough to sense it, infuses all Doing. The mind, on the other hand, would open doors indiscriminately and walk through them or open the doors that make mental sense at the time according to the emotions that arise in the instant. This creates the deep instability and fear upon which this culture feeds. I meditate to practice pushing the Controls back into the hands of my Captain, my HeartSoul. So no matter what my life looks like on the outside, the Peace that is an overriding characteristic of the nature of my eternal Being will be ever more present. I don’t always succeed, but I am getting better at it.    

Ourstory - Poem



Ourstory

An aural fixation
Indifferent stagnation
Bled our broken nation
Of soul(s)
With echoing headphones
We wandered alone
Walking in crowds
Yet tragically cowed
With minds disbelieving
Constricted chests heaving
But still barely breathing..

Aghast and severed
Tarred and feathered
Tired and tried
Defeated, we died

But
Awakened, alive to
Great Stillness
That thrived
When all became Broken
And we saw the Great Token
Put here for our healing,
And long lost feeling
Returned to our limbs.
And then…

With minds alive
And hearts aflame
And Gods unnamed
And peace and
Joy and beauty and
Soul-filled connection
A soulful collection
Of humanity
Reconnected
Recollected
Our Oneness
With all
Life...

We stepped out of “control”
(Which poisons the soul)
Embraced the light chaos
And loved what He gave us
Returned to the Mother
Embraced our lost brother
That Samaritan “other”
And thrived.

We.
Thrived.

So what will it be?
Are we ready?
Can we drop the noise?
Can we stop
And listen with our feet
And hear with our eyes
And taste with our skin
And feel with something other than
Our transient emotions?

Can we open the box of our experience
Blow light into it
Find the gray humor called compassion
Find that dark memory-energy that squeezes
In just the wrong places
And allow it to fly out of the cage
Where we now
Guard it and
Bless it and
Feed it?

Can the sky be our TV?
Can our child’s laughter be our radio?
Can the cold wind be sacred, too?
And the splinter?
And the broken car?

Can we walk animated with our Eternal I’s
Letting them tell us what we need
Rather than the politician
The marketer
The songstress?

I know we are here
To hear
All the way
To Here.

We can do this.

--Eric Marley
June 2014

Friday, May 9, 2014

Mandate - POEM



Mandate

Speaking
Of the green growing grass
Nothing holds it back
She sings still songs to her Creator
And you are made
Of those same stars
And it’s time, dear friend
You became them.

--Eric Marley
May 2014


Sunday, April 27, 2014

Distracted No Longer, Forever - HAIKU



Distracted No Longer, Forever  – POEM/ HAIKU

A series of doors
Approaches, long corridor
I bypass them all.

She stands at the end
Awaiting right decision
I make my way back.

She fades, in and out
Shimmering apparition
I make my way back. 

--Eric Marley
April 2014

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The Small Town of Gates, Oregon - Poem

The Small Town of Gates, Oregon

There's a highway
That runs
Through my little hometown
There's an art walk
And a restaurant
But no one slows down

The people just mill
(Used to work at one too)
There's no blacks, no Japs
No wops and no Jews
And they like it that way...

They're like cardboard cutouts
At the end of the day -
All made up of paper
Of varying weight
From the trees they cut down
And the nature they raped

The colors are there
But dimension is not
They bitch about faggots and
Grow their own pot and
When the alcoholic night falls
And familiar stunted shadows cry...
They pause and ask why
Ol' Red had to die
At a shooting
At a family
Fish fry...

--Eric Marley
March 4, 2014

On Your First Birthday After Our Last Split (for April)

On Your First Birthday After Our Last Split (for April)

your hard-headedness
plus my unconsciousness
divided by time i guess
equals zero

zero for you
zero for me
zero for the kids
in our stillborn family
zero for fun
in the Mexican sun
zero for healing
and poetry.

--Eric Marley
March 4, 2014