Visions - Prose I guess? 2012 sucked

Visions

Visions that have been in my head for a long time.

ONE:

My twelve year old daughter

As a young twenty-something

Working topless

In a darkened bar

Serving drinks

To the wolves

As lost as she

But without her Daddy issues

(He checked out early, you see…)

It’s how she copes.

TWO:

Me

Walking south

Towards Eagle Mountain

Not missing Sun Dance this year

It’s a “dead or in jail” commitment

After all

Even though one of those applies to me

I’m still

Walking south

Cars pass

But I feel no wind

I am Eagle Man

I am in the wind

I am of the wind

THREE:
The oldest one

Dad

Laying sick in a hospital

Looks like it’s this December

Maybe next

His unseeing eyes

His stammering oldness

Whispering my name

Here to take him

He’s scared.

I’m less than harmless

I love him

But he doesn’t know that

(Still ruled by fear)

I don’t cause his death

But I don’t prevent it

I’m his guide

He’s forgiven by me

I will be by him

As soon as he steps

Into the dark, dark

Light.

FOUR

And then there was that dream

Me on a small-gauge train

Perched uncomfortably on a boxcar

Small enough for me to straddle

When the train and I pass through tunnels

I see my life flashed on the walls

The mistakes

The anger

The bitterness

Not much good.

At the end I dismount,

Still pissed.

Looking around

I see a beautiful wedding march

The queen

Is my-ex wife

And she extends her hand

In invitation

To join the party

Not as her King

But as a spectator.

Forgiveness in her touch

Heaven reflected in her grace

Pulling it from my grave.

I can’t help these visions.

They’re not from me

They’re to me.

It would appear

That they are inevitable.

I am perched.

He breathes his last.

I walk slowly.

She dances.

I am resigned.

--Eric Marley

February 29, 2012